Currently Listening Fashion Nugget By Cake see related

This past Saturday a handful of us PPAers (me, Rosie, Jack, Angela, Carrie, Amy S.) took our good friend Wendy out for her birthday, along with two of her close friends who made a surprise visit from the Bay Area. Following dinner at GV Hurley's and post-dinner drinks at the Depot, I called it a night to avoid going dancing at Badlands, despite pleas from Rosie, Wendy and her friend Kem to get me to go. Rosie's boyfriend Jack also urged me to stay as well since he thought he might need moral support from another straight guy upon his first ever entry ever into a gay club. But for whatever reason...whether it's my age, lack of energy, or the fact that I'm a bit emotionally perplexed at the moment...I just couldn't get myself to have fun that night despite knowing how happy it would have made my good friends Rosie and Wendy feel. I know they're always willing to do anything for me...I feel bad that I couldn't do the same for them on that particular evening.

But gay clubs aside, what made this night interesting was a couple of conversations that I had which made me ponder what in fact it is that truly makes people happy with the lives that they’re living. At the Depot, while Wendy, Kem, and I were talking about how wonderful of a city San Francisco is (where Kem lives), Wendy acknowledged that she might be moving there for a new job in the near future (waiting for an official job offer). Instantly, aside from realizing how much I'd miss her if she were to move, I was also happy for her since she's been talking for months now about wanting to move back to the Bay Area. However, I also learned that night from Angela that it's not just the opportunity to embark on a new career in SF that appears to make Wendy happy; it is also that she's just so unhappy here in Sacramento that the idea of leaving this city behind in itself would bring about a perceived sense of happiness to her life. Just found it a bit puzzling as to why someone who as bright, beautiful, and fun a person as she, who has a bunch of great friends here who care about her, would actually be so "unhappy" living here in Sacramento.                                           

The second interesting conversation that night took place with Angela, as she and I were enjoying a couple of cigarettes out on the patio at the Depot. While talking about her hometown of Portland and her previous residence of San Diego, she also blatantly discussed her "unhappiness" living here in Sacramento. Although she actually acknowledged friendships (especially with her best buddy Wendy) and meeting cool people from our grad program as what she's enjoyed most about living in this city, she claims that there’s just something about Sacramento that just seems uninviting to her…or as she put it, it’s a city that is “trying too hard to be a city.”  Still a little confused as to exactly what that means, but I guess I would interpret that as saying that Sacramento just isn’t a city that she’s fully embraced as her home…and probably never will.

So this got me to thinking. Does geographic location actually play so great a role in happiness, that friendships and camaraderie are overshadowed? Does the lure of living a big city lifestyle actually in fact bring about complete joy in some people that they couldn't seem to find in their prior smaller city locales? Or are they just convinced that the cosmetic qualities that these cities entail will divert their attention away from the actual causes of their discontentment? I guess the answer to all of these questions could be yes…since I myself on many occasions have flirted with the idea of leaving all of my worries and hassles behind here in my hometown in favor of seeking happiness in San Francisco or Los Angeles (my two favorite cities).  But I guess each time, I've always come to the same conclusion that I have everything I need to keep me happy here in this city…as dysfunctional and boring as it may seem sometimes.  I have my family, my awesome friends, and it’s close enough to San Francisco and Los Angeles (by plane of course), that I can make weekend trips to these cities with no problem if I am ever really in need of the big city to cure me of any displeasure I may be seeking to rid myself of.  Plus, since I’ve lived all but three years of my life here in this city, I have a true personal attachment that out of towners like Wendy and Angela will never really have. So maybe I'm a bit biased in my misunderstandings of why people hate living here in Sacramento so much. We live in a free democratic society here...people can live where ever the f*ck they want...and for whatever reason they so choose. Who am I to judge?